Certainly—but
only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a
woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong
enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in
a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the
husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.
Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision
to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible
for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of
prayer and fasting—but only for such times. Then come back together again.
Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. I’m not,
understand, commanding these periods of abstinence—only providing my best
counsel if you should choose them.
Isn’t this curious: “Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to
contain them”
Sexual passion may be the strongest impulse we face. In
documented cases it is even stronger than the desire to breathe…and live. It’s
part of the reason we find every conceivable reason to excuse bad behavior. Except,
Paul says marriage is strong enough to tame this passion…
I know what you want to say: “but, Paul wasn’t married to my spouse!” Let’s just be honest.
Imagine our marriages are vast reservoirs (containers) for
life events…one category being sex. Paul says God has created our marriage reservoirs
big enough to contain every event without any spilling over. When our sexual desires
are in danger of spilling over, or actually spill over, it’s not because the
reservoir was too small. It’s because we are no longer “eating to live”, but we are “living to eat”. My brother in law
once opined, “I wish I could get that
monkey off my back”.
I understand…
This is why marriage partners need to be thoughtful and
generous with each other (and, not only
with sex). The reservoir may be big enough but it’s not always stable
enough. If our marriage doesn’t have some equilibrium about it the bumping and
bouncing will surely result in spills. None of us…as Christians…want this to
happen. So, I need to be more careful and listen carefully to my partner’s
needs, whatever they are. If I don’t, she might satisfy them elsewhere.
It makes me an “accessory”…a person who assists in the commission of a sin, but who
does not actually participate in the commission of the sin. An accessory is directly responsible for
the sin, and can be charged as a joint principal. I’ll bet this is one place where God
might agree with our temporal court.
I don’t want that…and neither does she.
Live
boldly out there today…
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