PsalmTree

 1 Peter 3:1-22…Godly Living for Mission Focus

“In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way the holy women of former times, who hoped in God, also used to adorn themselves, being subject to their own husbands, just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; and you have proved to be her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you would inherit a blessing.For,

“THE ONE WHO DESIRES LIFE, TO LOVE AND SEE GOOD DAYS, MUST KEEP HIS TONGUE FROM EVIL AND HIS LIPS FROM SPEAKING DECEIT. “HE MUST TURN AWAY FROM EVIL AND DO GOOD; HE MUST SEEK PEACE AND PURSUE IT. FOR THE EYES OF THE LORD ARE TOWARD THE RIGHTEOUS, AND HIS EARS ATTEND TO THEIR PRAYER, BUT THE FACE OF THE LORD IS AGAINST EVILDOERS.”

And who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. AND DO NOT FEAR THEIR INTIMIDATION, AND DO NOT BE IN DREAD, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, but with gentleness and respect; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who disparage your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. For Christ also suffered for sins once for all time, the just for the unjust, so that He might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit; in which He also went and made proclamation to the spirits in prison, who once were disobedient when the patience of God kept waiting in the days of Noah, during the construction of the ark, in which a few, that is, eight persons, were brought safely through the water. Corresponding to that, baptism now saves you—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, but an appeal to God for a good conscience—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven, after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.

Context: I liked an old meme we used in the Air Force when chaos was bubbling up around us; “Its hard to remember you came to drain the swamp when you’re up to your hips in alligators.” The point being, “focus on the mission.” Failure to do so means mission failure. 

For Christians, the alligators are satan’s acolytes…doing their best to distract us from making disciples.

Peter wrote this chapter to show believers how to live faithfully under pressure, especially by practicing Christlike conduct in the home, in the church, and in the wider world. In this chapter he moves from general teaching about submission and witness to very practical instructions for wives, husbands, and all believers, urging them to respond to hardship, misunderstanding, and persecution with holiness, humility, and good conduct. He points to Christ’s suffering and victory as the pattern for how Christians should endure unjust treatment, trusting God to vindicate them in his time.

So the chapter’s purpose is both pastoral and missional: Peter wanted struggling Christians to persevere with hope, and he wanted their lives to be so upright and winsome that others might be drawn to Christ.

Explanation: Missions fail on one of three levels; Strategic, operational or tactical. Failure to recognize our responsibilities on each level leads to mission failure. In descending order, 

• Our Strategic Goal is making disciples. This “is” the mission”.
• Our Operational Objective is Imitating Christ. Applying this to all our relationships
• Our tactical responsibility is doing so under actual conditions. Unfaithfulness, etc. 

Peter opens chapter 3 by saying “in the same way” (or “likewise”) to show that he is continuing the same line of thought from the previous chapters, follow Christ’s example of  submission, suffering and humility. Peter’s challenges in this chapter are Operational. They are not our Strategic Goal or our Tactical responsibility. It means fidelity in relationships is not an end in itself; it is a means to an end…making disciples. If we fail to recognize this we will get distracted by the alligators; a quarrelsome wife, a careless husband, an abusive boss, and we begin to believe they aren’t worth the effort. Well, they are…to Christ. Remember, the Strategic Goal (making disciples) depends on Operational success (imitating Christ).

Illustration: Paul couldn’t make this more clear; “wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior.” Literally, a spouse can achieve mission success if she pays attention to her operational objective. 

When I used to offer marriage counseling, I would begin by asking them about the vows they took at the altar. Invariably, they were some iteration of the traditional; 

"I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful [wife/husband/partner], to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

I did this to establish mission focus; “you are sitting in my office because you are experiencing the part of the vow you thought you would never encounter…the worse. And this is the part where you promised to stick with loving and honoring one another. Did you mean it? Or was that an empty promise? If your word means anything, you have a moral and spiritual obligation to work through this.”

Application: Missions most often fail at the Operational level. If I choose to quit a relationship because it’s difficult, rather than “imitate Christ,” my mission fails. The tactical responsibilities can be challenging; but, tactical failures can be turned around to achieve success. I can reconcile with an unfaithful spouse. I can reconcile with a dishonest co-worker. I can reconcile with a friend at church who violated my trust…if I keep my eye on the operational objectives.

The opening line of M. Scott Peck’s book, The Road Less Traveled, is “Life is difficult…” It captures a central idea he develops in this book and People of the Lie: that genuine maturity and spiritual health come from moving beyond self‑centeredness and seeing reality from other people’s perspectives. Peck repeatedly argues that taking responsibility for one’s own growth means recognizing that other people don’t exist merely to meet your needs or comforts; in that sense, life itself “is not about me.” True love is “the will to extend myself for the purpose of nurturing another’s spiritual growth,” and real healing from selfishness begins when we stop assuming the world rotates around us.

In other words, imitate Christ…

Prayer: Lord Jesus, I come before you knowing that you are my perfect example in every relationship. You lived in perfect love, humility, patience, and truth, and you call me not only to believe in you but to imitate you in how I speak, listen, serve, and forgive. Today, by the power of your Spirit, I commit myself to following your pattern in all my relationships—with my family, my friends, my church, my coworkers, and even those who are difficult or different from me.

Help me to relate to others not for my own comfort or approval, but for your glory and for their good. When I am tempted to be selfish, defensive, or controlling, remind me of your gentleness and your readiness to lay down your life for others. Give me the courage to speak the truth in love, to listen without judgment, and to serve without expecting anything in return.

Use every conversation, every conflict, and every moment of closeness as an opportunity for discipleship—for me to grow in Christlikeness and for others to see something of you in how I treat them. Teach me to bear wrongs patiently, to forgive freely, and to pursue reconciliation rather than retaliation. Let my life point people to you, not to my own wisdom or performance.

Lord, I surrender my relationships to you. Where I have been self‑centered, impatient, or harsh, forgive me and renew me. Shape my heart to resemble yours so that, in every interaction, I am becoming more like you and drawing others closer to you. I commit myself to imitating Christ in my relationships for the purpose of discipleship, trusting that you will work in me and through me by your grace. Amen.

Live boldly out there today…